"I have to kill you now unfortunately. Can't have this getting out."
"Nugget does not know. Nugget knows who knows."
"Biscuit Balls! Get your Biscuit Balls here! Get 'em while they're hot!
"Poor Ms. Jigglytits, they jiggled their last"
The Janitor is, well, the school's janitor. He has a closet in which he keeps a bloody bucket (Required for some missions), two shelves with boxes on them and a bag with a body in it. He is a serial killer who is very easily angered, but the Principal still keeps him around. He used Cindy's dog, Biscuit, to make the "Biscut Balls".
The Janitor doesn't have his own mission. During some of the students missions, if he finds the Protagonist in his closet, or he get under his skin, he will impale the Protagonist with his mop several times.
When talked to in the bathroom, he can get the Protagonist a cheaper chocolate bar in the cafeteria (for a Nickel).
During Recess, the Protagonist can show her the Janitor's recipe for 'biscuit balls' (if the Protagonist took it) and Cindy will ask him to find someone to read it. The best option is Monty, who will make the Protagonist pay $1.00, and will say that it is the recipe for 'biscuit balls' and that it contains Cindy's Dog (Biscuit). Once Cindy has been told about the recipe, she will call the Janitor over, bite his ear off and then his head. She will keep the Janitor's head through Show and Tell whilst it still bleeds.
During Recess, the Protagonist, Jerome and Monty will use Jerome's Strange Device to blow up the Janitor (since Monty has rigged it).
During cafeteria time, the Protagonist asks the Janitor to clean the toilet by checking that toilet and the taken ones. The Protagonist then find a severed finger or Billy's shoes within one of his boxes.
The Janitor makes a reappearance in Kindergarten 2 with his own quest.
The Janitor's Mission
During Kindergarten 2, the Janitor wants to start a war with the other Janitor (Bob) but to do so needs the Protagonist's help. He first asks the Protagonist to find out the other Janitor's name and return to him. Once the Protagonist has told the Janitor that the other janitor's name is Bob, he will ask the Protagonist to give the declaration of war to Bob, and to let him know when it is done. After the Protagonist gives Bob the declaration of war, Bob says that he will read it during Morning Time and tells the Protagonist to let the other Janitor know that the declaration has been delivered. Upon telling the Janitor that the declaration was delivered, the Janitor tells the Protagonist that he will be sharpening his mop in the boy's room. After talking to the Janitor, the bell rings and the Protagonist goes to class.
As morning time begins, Ms. Applegate says that she has a headache, and she wants everyone to play with the toys quietly. The Protagonist must leave the classroom without a pass, so Ms. Applegate will give the Protagonist Study Hall. After leaving the classroom, the Protagonist must head to the boy's room, where the Janitor is as he said he would be. The Janitor says that he needs the Protagonist's help again. He says that Bob is upstairs, and the Janitor can't get up the stairs and he'll need an elevator key. He tells the Protagonist that Monty has an elevator key and he'll be in the science class. Attempting to head upstairs, the Protagonist will immediately be stopped by Stevie (the new hall monitor). Stevie will tell the Protagonist that students are only allowed to use the bathroom and can't go any further. Insisting that the Protagonist must go upstairs, Stevie says that the Protagonist must need adult permission. If the Protagonist mentions the Janitor, Stevie says that the Janitor must see him himself. The Protagonist goes back into the boy's bathroom and tells the Janitor that the hall monitor stopped him from getting upstairs. The Janitor gets angry and tells the Protagonist to follow him out into the hall. The Protagonist then watches as the Janitor gets into an argument with Stevie until the Janitor beats Stevie onto the ground. He then calls down the other Hall Monitor (the original one) and tells him that he will do the same thing to him that he did to Stevie if he tries to stop the Protagonist. The Protagonist can then go to the science classroom and talk to Monty, letting him know that the Janitor wants the elevator key. After learning that it isn't the 'nice' janitor, Monty decides to give the key, and says that he should give it back before class is over. Dr. Danner then notices the Protagonist, and kicks him out of the classroom. After giving the key to the Janitor, the Janitor gives you a walkie talkie to keep in touch, and rides to war. After the Janitor gets into the elevator, the bell rings. Stevie barely tells the Protagonist to go to Lunch, and the Protagonist honors the wish of a dying child and heads to Lunch.
As soon as Lunch starts, the Protagonist talks to the Janitor through the walkie talkie. He tells the Protagonist that he must meet him upstairs in the girl's room. After the Protagonist tells the Janitor that he doesn't think he's allowed to leave, the Janitor tells him that there must be a student that can help him get out. The Protagonist talks to Carla and asks her how he can get out of Lunch. Carla offers to distract the lunch lady for $5.00. The Protagonist pays Carla, and she distracts the lunch lady, giving the Protagonist time to leave the lunchroom and head into the girl's bathroom. Upon entering the girl's bathroom, the Protagonist sees Bob dead on the floor, his blood now in the water he was cleaning up. The Janitor tells the Protagonist that he won the war, and he now needs help to clean up the mess. He gives you the key to the weapon's closet and tells you to get him a weapon to slice up Bob. After talking to the Janitor, Ms. Applegate exits her stall and sees everything that was going on. She then immediately enters her stall again and waits until the end of Lunch to leave. The Protagonist goes back downstairs into the boy's room, uses the key to unlock the closet, and goes inside. The Protagonist takes a chainsaw and brings it back up to the Janitor. The Janitor takes the chainsaw, and uses it to slice Bob's head off, making more blood go on the floor. The bell then rings. The Janitor says that the Protagonist has to skedaddle to Study Hall. He then gives the Protagonist Bob's head before the Protagonist leaves.
When Study Hall starts, the only students there is Buggs and the Protagonist. Dr. Danner says that there is no talking or moving until Study Hall is over. The Protagonist says nothing, and Dr. Danner says that they are a clever bunch. The Protagonist eats an apple, and the teacher says that the coffee he drank is running through him, and he heads to the boy's room. After Dr. Danner leaves, the Janitor talks to the Protagonist with the walkie talkie and says that they have a problem. He says that Penny has been following the Protagonist around the school.